


Diary of a Vampire

by Littlebluejay_hidingpeanuts



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Vampires
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 00:35:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22327045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littlebluejay_hidingpeanuts/pseuds/Littlebluejay_hidingpeanuts
Summary: Inspired and influenced by Interview with the Vampire, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Dracula. Marasel Legarde has become a vampire, tricked by her maker, and brought to a vampire ball. She will not let this destroy her. Rather she will take her new power and live.





	1. February 13, 1644

**Author's Note:**

> A rape occurs during a vampire's transformation. Though this is not yet set up within the story, I did not want rape to be considered a "normal" practice amongst vampires. What Gregor does is considered by the older vampires to be deplorable. A "true" vampire would never need to force another, be they human or another vampire.

Mon Dieu! It has been two years gone, vanished as like a breath. All because of my doing. My dear husband, my precious child! Both are dead, but it is only now that I can remember their faces, remember their names. Two years have been stripped of me because of that fiend! He prayed on me in my weakness. As I breathed my last, he promised me life. My fevered mind believed him. What a fool I am. This is no life, not without my Jacques and my Vianne. At least my sweet child will be at peace in heaven with her father to care for her. These last two years I have shed more blood than the armies of Hannibal. I have killed men, women, and innocent babes in their cribs. I would spill more blood, my own, in tribute to justice. My punishment must come, but I have not blood enough to serve as penance. I would shed more teardrops than rain drops can fall to this earth, and still it would not be enough. I know, were this life eternal ever to end, my soul would never see the light of day again. God's light I do not deserve. Oh, that the blood lust had never left me. Oh, that I were never to have my own mind again. Even the depths of hell cannot serve to truly give me proper torment for my deeds. That monster! He prayed on my wish to live. Now he laughs at my guilt. If this eternity be real...If the gates of hell he never shall see, the torment he might have felt at the Devil's hand shall not match the havoc I shall strike down upon him. He will feel pain that will bring him to his invincible knees. For Jacques and Vianne who will never see their wife or mother again. For the woman he deceived. The Marasel they knew died with them that night, lying beside them, stricken by smallpox like they. He will rue the day he made me like him. Curse him for his deceitfulness in calling it a gift, a blessing. We will see how much he feels blessed when I am through. A woman need not be scorned to have Hell's greatest fury. If there is a way for him to die, I will find it, and perhaps forget it so as to be able to find it again. For all the blood I have tasted as this new creature, his will be sweetest. I vow this, to the God whose love I will never feel again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Un-betaed. Constructive criticism is welcome, but politeness is a must.


	2. February 13, 2011

This is quite exciting. I just entered a new college to take new classes and learn new things. It's fun entering the human world again. The sciences have been furthered. The humans are getting closer and closer to studying all there is to know. It is odd walking amongst them again. No human can know how it feels. They try, oh, how they try with their books and movies. Even the legends cannot touch on the truth. There has been only one time that I felt them come close. "No words can describe it. Might as well ask Heaven what it sees. No human can know." It is a strange thing to be the wolf walking amongst the sheep. I have a hard thing not thinking of them all as food. It is right to describe the change into this creature as a birth. I have been born into the life of a species greater than humans. Everything in the world has a creature above it in the hierarchy of life. I am the one above humans. A creature, an animal, that preys on the weak, the outcast, and the old. I was so young, so blind, when I was first born to this, to think it a curse, to think me evil. Is the wolf evil? Is the eagle and the owl? I feed and I live. There are those select few which I hold apart from the rest. Friends and family, but it has been so long. My family is dead and I have not created a new one. These twenty years I have lived apart, aloof. Amongst the other wolves. Perhaps it is wrong to call us wolves. Wolves band together. No we are cats, independent and strong. We can be close for a time, but at some point we must leave each other or risk trying to tear each other apart. So cats we shall be.

Thankfully I have reached an age where the sun no longer has great affect. And thank this age that has understood the effectiveness of night classes. The life of a college student is perfect for me. I am the right age, the understandable schedule, the right attitude. Even after these long years I never lost my curiosity. Some say I am childlike. I say they are dead, and should have fallen to ash long ago if they cannot appreciate the novelty of each new age. I like how this world has changed. There is a freedom that can be exploited. What fun!


	3. February 14, 1646

Though he is my enemy and eventually my victim, he is still an extremely old vampire and thus very powerful. He has been teaching me about what this new life of mine is. I am a monster, perhaps less so than him, this I know, but he says I am a predator, that I am God-like because I feed upon humans as the gods do in playing with their lives. Mon Dieu, you must hate me so to have put me with a blasphemer for a master. He has been teaching me about my strengths. I have found that this new body can splinter an old oak with a single punch. I can become wounded, but I heal quickly without fear of infection or scarring. This is good to know for my future destruction of Gregor. He has been training me in the sword and the bow, and in other techniques of oriental fighting. It may be unseemly for a woman under the rule of Louis XIV such as myself to learn to fight, but if it will bring the downfall of Gregor about sooner, so be it. In fact, he did not offer these teachings. I demanded them after seeing his skill. After all, the student may surpass the teacher and know thy enemy and all that rot. There is only one lesson which he has been desirous to teach me, one of pain and pleasure. I am learning the art of torture in all its forms. I wonder sometimes whether Gregor realizes these lessons will be used upon himself. The better he teaches, the more I learn, the greater the pain he will feel.

He has said he will take me to court soon. I do not know what he means by this. Court implies a King or Queen. Do monsters have monarchs? He has been buying me clothes, dresses finer and softer than any I have felt before. Silks and satins, velvets and lace. Jewels of every color to match. he has plied me with gifts from my moments of awakening. He desires this body he has created. So far I have denied him, but perhaps tonight I will give into his advances. If he thinks he has my love and he gives me his, then my trap will be all the greater. The preying mantis luring her mate into her embrace.


	4. February 15, 2011

They SPARKLE?! What?... I ... What? I can't even think about this. How could someone get something so wrong? How could she even come up with this ridiculousness? VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE. I'm sure I'll be laughing about this tomorrow, but this is insane. What the hell?


	5. March 9, 1646

Finally, Gregor has told me about this "Court" that he wants to take me to. The Court is a large group of vampires, the largest in the world. Groups of vampires are called murders, just like for crows. The Court distinguishes itself from the rest of the murders in that it is the largest with 279 strong and that it holds a certain dominion over all other vampires. Apparently, this is not to say that the Court rules over all vampires, just that its strength and size commands respect, and any traitors of enemies of the Court must face the army of the Court, The Guard. The Guard is 126 blood-thirsty men whose blood lust never really faded. 

The Court is a decadent, independent power which governs itself from within. Others outside the Court can join during what is called "The Ball" only if the Court's leader, The Count, finds them agreeable. They can also beseech the Court for help at any time if they have something suitable they can give in trade. 

The Count is Prince Vlad Dracula who, in life, was the monarch of Romania. He was beloved by his people, but cruel to his enemies. He impaled them upon spikes getting him the oh, so original name of Vlad the Impaler. As a vampire, he is just as charismatic and commanding as when he was alive. Vampires flock to his side, following him as he moves from place to place, castle to castle. Humans serve as his servants, and he has human lords which owe him homage like vassals do them. He began The Ball as a way to entice others into his Court and to entertain other Master vampires, communicate with them, make treaties with them. Gregor says that Master vampires are vampires of a certain age that gain extra abilities. Gregor learned to move things with his mind. Vlad learned to transform into animals like a wolf, bat, rat, even smoke. Others have learned to control the minds of animals or humans, even other vampires with something called thrall. Thrall seems to me to be the most powerful of the "extras." The ability to assert a vampire's will on another would take incredible focus and strength. A vampire's mind is strengthened along with their body when they change. It's hard to break passed their defenses, but if it's done, the vampire in control could do anything to his victim and force his victim to do anything. Mon Dieu, am I glad Gregor does not have this power. I can tell that for all his boasts, Gregor is one of the weaker Masters. He seemed nervous when telling me of his "great" power. This will bake my revenge easier. Apparently, some can use this power to move themselves and actually fly. 


	6. August 17, 1646

The Ball begins on October 31 and continues till January 31. This gives enough time for any vampire who wishes to come to travel to the castle it is being held at that year and the choice of when to come: before, after, or during Christmas. Gregor says he has arranged it so we will be staying the whole three months. Already, I have begun attacking his wealth in search of an entirely new and appropriate wardrobe. I will not be seen as the prize or prostitute that Gregor wants me to be, and I will financially ruin him in doing so, if I can.

Vampires are sexual creatures he tells me. They are passionate. He still has to beg to enter my bedchamber. He, with his 353 year lead on me in vampire years, no longer shuns the sun and must ask for sex. He cannot step out into the midday light, but he does not need to hide as I do. Every day I am forced into my windowless chambers. I read, sleep, and sometimes fence. It is during this that Gregor disturbs my peace with his desire. He sometimes tries to tempt me with beautiful men to feed on. The one time he brought in a woman I befriended her on the spot and made her my maid. Nicole is her name, and she is with me still, though Gregor still would see her dead. I still grieve for my mortality he complains. I still see myself as one of them. It is the word "them" which he spits with so much dismay. He has cursed me with this existence. Let him suffer the consequences. I feed so rarely. I frequently look gray and gaunt like a skeleton. My clothes hang badly on my thin frame. The only thing that looks at all alive is my red hair as the firelight flickers on the strands. 

Vampires can change only in certain ways I have found. I can change my hair. It has grown since my death and my nails, too. My 5' 6'' height will stay the same, but my weight will fluctuate only a mere portion of what it did when I was alive. I can lose and gain weight, but only a small amount. I can gorge myself on everything in sight, but I will only gain about 5 pounds. It is different with my fitness. All my muscles have become defined, not bigger, just defined. As if a bit of the fat has become its equal weight in muscle. I was a rather thin woman when living. Now that I am not eating I look positively sickly. Far too thin to be shapely. Perhaps if I keep my weight up the soft curves will return to my figure. At this low weight, if someone came into my room as I was sleeping, he would most assuredly think me dead, what with the no breathing and no pulse. I don't need oxygen, but to speak I need air. 


	7. October 30, 1646

Three weeks ago, Gregor stuffed me into a carriage and away we were off to Budapest. We could only travel by night because of my condition. I would not let him risk my sensitive skin with flimsy curtains. Just another way for me to torture my creator. 

We were followed by a train of carriages carrying all of my new clothes. Gregor packed very little of his own things saying that during The Ball, much of what you need is provided. 

When we arrived sometime near midnight, I realized that tomorrow will be the full moon. How fortuitous for the first day of The Ball. We were shown to our rooms of which there were two, a bedchamber and a parlor. They were opulent and beautiful. They even had windows covered in heavy brocade curtains thick enough to keep out the sun for those who need it. At first, I was apprehensive about the one bed and was contemplating regulating Gregor to the couch. Then, I discovered Gregor planned to hop from bed to bed during our stay. I wonder if this is normal, for the vampires here, or if Gregor's reputation is not as respectable as he has claimed. 

Gregor is telling me that I must sleep now. He plans to see if anyone he knows has arrived. He believes that in preparation for tomorrow, I should be well rested. 


	8. October 31, 1646

The Ball has begun! Just before dusk, I had Nicole dress me in a deep golden dress and set my hair half upswept and half in curls. The dark yellow enflamed my hair well. I paired this with a set of sapphire jewels. I have to say, I looked good. 

As we entered the grand ballroom, I could not help staring. The sheer size of the room held the 279 of the Court as well as the hundreds more of guests. The beauty of the room was only surpassed by the beauty of the monsters it held. All shapes, all sizes, clothed in hundreds of colors, some never before seen by man, but all with a glow of inner ethereal light. The men were just as fey-like as the women, yet all were powerful predators. I could see this in the sharp, cutting glint in their eyes. In between them, the human servants and lovers that had been dragged along with their vampire masters seemed fake and dull, caricatures of the fine beings surrounding them. For the first time since my turning, I wanted to belong to this powerful group. 

A herald announces us as Gregor and his child Marasel. Gregor will feel my displeasure on this, but it was adequate in getting the partyers' attentions. A swath was cut through the crowd the crowd to a throne on the other side of the room. Gregor took my arm escorting me to what I guess is the Count and his "family." Gregor rushed me forward and before I caught my breath, there we were bowing before him. As we rose, there he was. I am ashamed to say, I gasped. His black hair created a shadowy halo about his head serving to contrast against his pale, marble-like skin. His black eyes shot straight to mine and through me. A tingle passed wherever he looked. He was dressed in black velvet and lace. The shine of his black boots reflected us, the unworthy pair. His hands wee long, his nails sharp, and his lips, not pale as one would imagine, but red, the only sign that he had fed lately. I hoped my remembered feeding earlier helped to remove the gray from my skin. I wanted him to see me as beautiful. Here was a true teacher, the likes of which Gregor could never be. His power felt like a cool wind. It removed the heat created by such a crush of people. Beside me, Gregor rattled on as if he and the Count were old friends. The nerve of him! When he mentioned me, I curtsied low. I felt his gaze, but then it flickered away. I was beneath his notice! My shock helped to release me from his spell. I looked around, and surrounding Dracula were three beautiful women: one with brown hair, one with black, and one with blonde. 

There were also two men standing in the back to the left. One was a tall blonde with strong Roman features. He felt so old, and I wished to know what he had learned. Beside him was a man with long auburn hair. He matched the blonde in height, but he was thinner, more delicate. The two stood close enough to proclaim them lovers. They gazed upon us briefly with disinterest before returning to their conversation. The women looked at us with disdain and contempt , as if because they stood by Dracula they were powerful. In my time as a human, I learned that a woman must be strong enough to stand by her husband in her own right. These "brides" were glorified cup-bearers. 

It was soon after this that we were dismissed. For the rest of the evening, we passed from group to group in a whirlwind I had not the desire to contribute to. I stood silently, demurely, thinking of the Count. Finally the morning came, and we retired. Gregor left me to join the morning crowd. 

I will have Vlad Dracula as my teacher. I want him. I want to hear my name on his lips. It is with his power that I will gain my vengeance on Gregor. 


	9. November 5, 1646

In these last few days, I have decided to observe Dracula. To learn all I can of him, his preferences, his moods, so that I might better pull him to me. Sadly, this means I am regulated to watching him subvertly. I have become the shy wallflower, the quiet prize Gregor can drag around. I am not pleased in this, but no 4 year old vampire can tempt a 170 year old Master without being a plaything for a night and forgotten by morning. I will have him, but on my terms. 


	10. November 23, 1646

My obsession has been noticed. Tonight I was in a deep indigo blue gown with amethyst jewelry, and as we danced and Gregor talked, showing me off, I glanced about for Dracula. He was in another group accompanied by his blonde bride which I have disdained to learn the name of along with the other brides. In our group were a few men including the Roman blonde, whose name I have discovered is Gaius, and two women. One of these women, Marianne, demanded her voice be heard. Her friend beside her served to agree with her every point. Marianne and Gregor had spent some nights todether. Our group now found ourselves listening to their flirtation. I found my attention straying more as my gaze found my Count, if I can call him that at all. It was then that Marianne noticed. _Oh, my_ she cried. Her laughter grabbed the attentions of the groups around us. _You have a crush on Dracula!_ she shrieked. That got the attention of him. 

_Don't worry, darling, everyone falls for him._ She must have seen my expression of embarrassment. _And your maker certainly picked a pretty one, so I'm sure he'll find you sweet enough to bestow his attentions on you._

I felt my blood boil. I would have him, yes, but only as his pupil or his equal. _Vlad, darling._ She noticed she had his attentions from her piercing voice. _Come here. I have someone for you to meet._ He smiled indulgently as he stepped toward our group. Gregor looked triumphant in his glee that Dracula had found us worthy for the moment. The others were just as gleeful at his outcome, except for Gaius, who gazed at me. Perhaps he sympathized with my plight, but my eyes were being drawn to Dracula's approach. He was in a deep blue tonight, too. His eyes just as piercing. His gaze briefly passed over all, pausing on me, and ending on Marianne. His bride beside him joined in Marianne's merriment. 

_Vlad, this is Gregor's child. Her name is Marasel. Isn't she pretty? She's been watching you all night._

I could not make myself meet his gaze as he turned to me. 

_My darling, do not be afraid. I am not insulted. Any man would be flattered by your attentions. Is that not right, Marius?_

_Of course. She is beautiful. I remember the first night of The Ball when she was introduced. She was enchanting._

Dracula held his hand out to me.

_Come, do not be afraid. Show me that face that so bewitched me._

A frown marred his bride's face at this, but I gave him my hand. He pulled me close and tipped my face up to his. That face, those eyes, those lips. I believe I sighed. A smile caressed his lips making me want to take that smile in a kiss. It was the look in his eyes which stopped me. In those black eyes was the lust any man feels when on a new hunt, and only lust, no respect, no admiration. I would spend the night in his bed and fade into the crowd tomorrow, becoming like Marianne, vying for his attention. I had seen looks like this before while growing up. It was my husband whose look was different. Oh, mon Dieu, Jaquez! It was this memory of my dear husband which broke the spell on me. 

_Oh, sir, please forgive me, but I... I must go._ I pulled away, flustered, and rushed from the room. He will desire me as I desire him, not an iota less! 


	11. December 31, 1646

After the incident, I hid in my room for several days, planning and mourning my family once again. Finally after talking with Nicole, I pulled myself together. I left the room determined to enjoy myself and learn all I could of the workings of the Court. I spent my nights horse-back riding and dancing and my days in the heavily curtained parlors gossiping with the women about the Count. There were still titters as a walked through the halls or through parlors or ballrooms. I did not speak with Marianne's group or Dracula again, but I saw them watching me. Marianne with humor and contempt. Dracula with interest, lust, and I believe some amount of confusion. 

It was on the 31st after Christmas that Dracula approached me. Christmas was celebrated, not as Christmas, but as the longest night of the year. It was a ball within The Ball. A celebration with food and drink for those who had grown to the age where they could stomach the stuff again, and blood for everyone. The ballrooms filled to bursting. It was a joyful night. 

On the 31st, I was in the grand ballroom, apart from Gregor for a time, in a velvet, forest-green dress. I nodded to all the people I had made acquaintances of as I walked out onto a balcony. I was out there for a few minutes in the quiet, looking at the stars, when wolves began howling in the distance. 

"What sweet music they make." Dracula joined me, putting his hand on my lower back. My skin tingled at his presence. I felt like I was being swallowed up in his dark power. The air felt charged. 

"Do you ever run with them?" He pulled away. 

"You know of my ability?"

"Gregor told me. You can change shape."

"That's all he told you?" 

"Yes. Why?"

"Nothing. Just ...other vampires typically become jealous of Masters. They want the extra powers. Because they cannot have them, they spread rumors to taint the names of powerful Masters."

"Oh, Gregor wouldn't do that. He is a Master himself." 

"Really? All these years and I never knew he was a Master. What is his ability?"

"He can move objects with his mind."

"Telekinesis." I nodded, glad to finally have a name for it. "Is he very powerful?"

"Well..." I looked away. It's not that I ever had any problem extolling Gregor's failures or weaknesses. It was that I did not want the Prince to think ill of me for how easily I spoke ill of my sire or revealed his secrets. Also, if word of my indiscretions got back to Gregor, he was still my maker, stronger and faster, still a threat if I angered him. His reputation was especially important to him. Here I was about to chisel away at it. I was hesitant. 

"Do not worry. This conversation will not go beyond the two of us. I will protect you."

I was startled. "Why?"

"You intrigue me. Perhaps I will be honest. I want you to cool to my bed this night." He spoke not of the future, of continuing nights. This would not do, but I smiled. 

"Well, Gregor, for all his boasting, cannot call anything heavier than a book to him," I giggled, "He is barely a threat. All he's good for is passing the salt."

The Prince smiled. Perhaps he was glad that I was opening up or humoring me after giving him the response he did not desire. 

"Will you join me tonight?" That answers that. Seemed I must step up his interest in me. I stepped closer. 

"My Prince," I placed my hand close to his lips, and kissed the underside of my wrist. "I am honored by your request." He gazed at me, slowly dropping his gaze lower and lower. A light heat grew wherever his eyes touched. "But I must decline." His eyes sprung to mine, again, and were widened in shock. I guess he wasn't denied very often. I had to keep him intrigued without giving into him. 

"You would deny me? Perhaps you are not worth my interest." Poor baby's pride was bruised. 

"No, sir! Please, my Prince, my beloved. I would come with you this instant, if I could. Please, sir, do not say you will leave. I would beg for your love." 

"What do you mean 'if you could'?" He looked satisfied with my outburst. 

"My family, sir. When I was given this gift, my husband and child had passed on before me. Two years of bloodlust and two awake, I still miss them. I barely allow Gregor's touch. I feel it is a betrayal to my husband and my human life. Pity me, my love. I still feel human. I need the proper teacher to show me the joys of this new life. I desire you wholly. My body responds to you so quickly; it shocks me. But my human life haunts me." There, no he knew I desired his instruction and his body, but hopefully my guilt and tears would keep him from pushing the physical. 

"Your fears are honorable, but your guilt is not. You dishonor your family by not living this new life to the fullest. I understand, though. I find myself caring for your well-being and respecting your abstinence. I am glad you have been able to deny your sire's advances." Yes! He caught that. If he takes me as a lover, I will only have been with my husband and briefly with my sire. He does not need to know that it is now out of disgust that I lay with Gregor and manipulation, then out of guilt. This will make him feel special. 

"Thank you, my love." I curtsied low, bending my head down to his feet. I could feel his self-assured satisfaction in the air. It felt almost like Gregor's smug arrogance. The difference was in the status between the men. A man of higher rank is deserved of his arrogance. Even if Prince Vlad was just as controlling and foolish as my sire, he was still the Prince. He had power, influence, knowledge. I would gladly share his bed to touch that power, to gain it. 

Shortly after, the Prince left me with a kiss. I relayed these events to Nicole, and she congratulated me on the advancement of my plan. I would not have Dracula by the end of this Ball. No, this was a long term plan. Jacquez always said that my drive and desire could lead me to successfully ruling the world. I was satisfied loving him and our daughter. Now, they were gone. All that was left was a desire to establish myself. I would learn all I could about this new world. I was essentially free with this new power. I would not allow myself to continue to be under the power of a man, especially Gregor. My husband was Jacquez, and would remain Jacquez. I would indulge myself with other men because I knew he would not want me to be lonely. Jacquez would always be my heart. 


	12. January 6, 1646

A few day later, the Roman, Gaius, visited my chambers. Normally, a man of his stature and presence would seem grossly out of proportion in a lady's rooms, but the Prince's castle was built to house vampires. Dracula had not been the one to build the castle. It was wealthy vampires long before him which built not only this castle, but others around the world. 

The rooms were large. The ceilings high. There were few windows, few fire places. Darkness means little to those that can see clearly in it. Coldness means little to those who have no heat, who are the same temperature as a table or the sheets of one's bed. He came close to dawn when all the good little vampires were getting ready for be. I was in a light, white nightgown. I may have to sleep like the dead, but that doesn't mean I want to be uncomfortable. I couldn't wait for the next centuries to create better sleepwear. Sometimes, I did away with propriety and went nude. Nicole insisted that I wear something while here for just this occurrence. Never mind that I was not interested in Gaius. 

He started by apologizing for coming so late. 

"I know you have, but minutes, being young as you are." I was young. The sun not only burned me like fire eats wood, but I grew deeply tired as the sun rose to the annoyance of Gregor. 

"Thank you for your concern. Please sit. It is an honor to be visited by such an important vampire." 

"I have heard that I am not the only one to visit you. Nevertheless, I am not important. I am just a scholar." He looked almost bashful as he would not meet my eyes, keeping his on the smoldering fireplace. 

"A scholar you are which is influential in the knowledge you command, but you are also old, powerful, beautiful. That commands attention and respect. It makes you important." This perked him up. I do not know why, but he was now looking at me like he thought I was hiding something. 

"One so young should see little. What else do you see?" He, I can only describe it as, pounced on me, and pulled me down on a chaise lounge. He pushed me into lying back and raised my feet to his lap. Though his manhandling was startling, it felt strangely comforting. It felt like I was with my still-living, I hope, brother, Edouard. We had been close as children. We told each other all of our secrets. 

Gaius leaned over me. I suppose he was trying to be threatening, but I could not help giggling. His hands were gripping my stomach and feet. Little-known fact: becoming a vampire removes some flaws from you person like wrinkles or blemishes. It makes you stronger and faster. It enhances the beauty and health of your skin, hair, eyes. It can lead to the loss of some excess weight , you become fitter. It does not remove ticklishness. I was very ticklish as a human and I remained so as a vampire. His tense grip did not hurt, but tickled a whole lot. I tried not to react as he was behaving very serious. He seemed troubled. I wanted to know why. 

"You observe too much," he said, " of vampires for one so young. You see the power structure. You play the meek and mild, the worshiping and obedient, but this is not you. Who are you? What do you want?" He saw too much. Marius was like me. He stayed quiet to learn the rules and connections before engaging. He had seen me, my subterfuge, when the arrogant others in power had not. I must tread lightly. As comfortable as I felt with him, he could become a danger to me. His grip tightened. 

"Tell me!" Nicole peeked around the doorway of the bedroom at the sound of his shout. From her fearful, but determined expression, I knew that she would try to come to my rescue. She would be hurt if she did. This I could not allow. I would answer Marius , reveal myself, and let things fall where they may. 

"Alright, okay. You will have your answers. My human family was powerful. Though we held no royal titles, we had money and influence, perhaps more power than if we were monarchs. I was Marasel Bellew. I married Jacques Legarde. We had a daughter, Vianne." Marius' eyes went wide. The name Bellew was powerful in the right circles. "They are both dead from smallpox. I know nothing of the rest of my family since my death. I would have stayed dead with my husband and child had Gregor not changed me." 

"You do not say he saved you?"

"No, to be saved is to be in heaven. That is a place I will never see now thanks to him. He came to us before we were dead, still only sick, promising a cure. He cared for us. He fed my husband broth. He bathed my child in cool water to calm her fever. He brought me teas made of bark to help with the pain. We were healing. I had hope. He, that demon, came to me one night, saying that my family was worsening, saying that there was one last cure he could give. He asked me if I would take it. I begged him to give it to my family first. He said he already had, and it was just now working on them. After I had taken it, I would be completely healed and I would see him. I said yes. He pierced my skin, drank my blood. It hurt. Dear God, it hurt, but I was too weak, too hot to fight him back. I drifted in pain and fevered, murky dreams of blood and fire. Through all this, I still had hope, blind hope that my family and I would live. 

Once he had emptied me, he tore open his own wrist and filled me up. The blood." I had to stop. The memories were taking over. I was feeling the pain racing through my muscles again. Even more terrifying, I was tasting the blood, feeling that monstrous hunger again. It was too soon after my transformation to be thinking about it. I didn't know what I would do if I continued telling the story. 

"It will be okay. I am here. I will not let you harm anyone. I understand." His tone was concerned and caring. It was surprising. I thought vampires were selfish, power-hungry, arrogant. I thought they took whatever they wanted. I thought it was always a power-play for them. Here Gaius was letting me be myself, explain myself without judgement, letting me relax and be comfortable without wanting something in return. It was not the memories, but his arms around me, tight, strong, and stable which brought me to tears. Vampires can cry. Sometimes a touch of blood finds its was into the tear ducts turning them red. To not have this release of emotion would be torture. I needed this, someone who would have the experience of centuries, and the understanding and sympathy for a youngster. In that moment I knew we would be friends. I pulled him close, and he held me closer. I ended up in his lap. After a few deep breathes that I did not need, I began again with his chin on my head and me clutching him. 

"The blood was intoxicating. The more I drank, the more the taste transcended the metal and mineral. It tasted like fire and ice, life and death. It burned as it passed through my mouth to my stomach where my veins pulled it out to my extremities. My entire body hungered for more. It felt like the perfect coupling between my Jacques and I only stronger, forceful. The blood forced me to accept it into myself. 

"When he pulled away, I must admit, I reached for him. I wanted the one who had created this addiction. It was then that I realized that I lived. I was no longer weak and hot or in pain. I felt strong. I could hear the horses in the stable a quarter mile away. I could smell the manure. His cure worked. 

"I ran for my family to share in my joy. I smelt them before I left the room. I ran to them." I gasped, holding back tears. "They were dead. Messy bite marks adorned the once-strong neck of my husband and the once-sweet-smelling neck of my daughter. 

"'It is too late for them,' he told me. It had not been too late. I had been the sickest of us. No one had ever accused me of being brainless. I knew he had drained them so that he could feed me. He stole their blood so that I could drink it. I flew at him with my new jagged fangs that pushed the other teeth from my gums and the claws that my nails had become. He grabbed my arms in one hand and my throat in the other. He moved faster than I could yet see. 

"'Ah, you are a fierce one. You are beautiful, and you are mine.' 

"'Never,' I shouted, hissing at him. He smiled. 

"'Time to tame my wild beast.' He forced me easily to the floor. And forced himself in me. I fought, but seemed to increase his enjoyment. All I could do was wriggle against him. I turned my face as he tried to kiss me. He laughed, but allowed me to keep my face away. I could see the blank stare of my husband watching me and my bloody human teeth lying on the floor. He took me on the floor of my family's deathbed. After that, my bloodlust began. All I really remember of that are faces, screams, laughter, and blood. Beautiful, sweet blood and the taste of death."

For the rest of the day, Gaius held me as I slept. We didn't move, didn't breathe. I felt warm and safe. 

**Author's Note:**

> Un-betaed. Constructive criticism is welcome, but politeness is a must.


End file.
